Nonsense
Wednesday 2 September 2015
Friday 31 July 2015
One Hundred Years of Accelerated Hair Growth
Little Bertie came out of his mum with a quiff, which was curious because Bertie's mum had decided that her child should have corn rows.
How She Wanted to Come Across
Hirsute moist cummerbunds. Where it comes up to your neck in coils and levitates on the arm like a dark forest and your legs are like llamas. Moustaches you don't ask for and monobrows to make Frida Kahlo blush.
a man whos ehair gows a cm each out. he cuts it and then gets fed up and lets it geo and he start s tripping up on it and he gets on the tube and but the dors don't open in his side un tik end of line. i cant keep cutting as it will keep growing so im gonna make money out if it so he siyts on a chair on park and lets peopl ecut of his hair and decorates it for people to cut off and buy. He have give you bespoke lengths. if he a window clwaner and his hgair saves his life. The NY windowcleaners in NY adn he's stood on there before it collapses and he hair trapped in the window he's cleaning and hung there and his hair grows so quickly thta his hair lowers down to the ground.
A man and woman work in fish and chip shop together. They are fond of each other and over the years they grow to fall in love. Although they are of austere means they have disdain for vulgar shows of wealth. One day the man decides to propose to his partner whilst at work in the chip before and kneels down holding out a sparkling wedding ring. She is disgusted with the opulence of the gesture and without thought slings the ring into the molten batter. The man is heartbroken. They argue over the incident for months. One day in the fish shop a man enters and orders a portion of fish and chips. Later on the man and his girlfriend are eating the meal at home when he suddenly becomes violently ill. Clutching his stomach he throws up violently in the living room. His wife rushes to his aid and while massaging him between his shoulders notices there is a ring sitting on the man's vomit. Immediately she convinces herself the man was intending to propose to her in a romantic manner but some part of the plan has gone horribly wrong and bursts out declaring YES! while man is still retching. The man has no idea what woman is referring to. The man notices the ring and decides to confess to girlfriend her about Kevin, the lodger he has been having an affair with over the past 6 months. The woman is distraught and flushes ring down the toilet.
A man works in a cereal factory. His job involves taking the black bits out of the Frosties that go past on the conveyor belt, and not much more than that. One time he saw a giant Frostie going past. He plucked it, placed it in with care in his overall pocket and took it to eat in the canteen at his break. His home is full of old plastic bags containing plastic bags. His kitchen is overrun with cockroaches and mice. The smell throughout the house is of something sour that used to be alive. He loves Frosties. A bowl of Frosties is his only sanctuary. He opens the cupboard and sees a hole in the box of cereal where something has been gnawing away. Rogue Frosties are strewn all about. That night he sets a trap. The next morning a long brown rat is laying dormant in the middle of the kitchen floor, its belly wide open and entrails on display from the tight clasp of the trap. Amidst the rat's innards something shimmers. The man finds a diamond wedding ring and wonders how a rat could have managed to swallow such an impressive object. He is reminded of his girlfriend died who died last year of cancer and how he was planning on proposing to her but because of his impoverished existence decided that it wasn't the right time to do so.
man and woman working in fish and chip shop. Fall in love.They are of modest means and dislike showiness. He proposes to her with a nice ring. She is disgusted as its too vulgar. Woman throws ring into the sea. Man is heartbroken. They argue for months about the incident. One day in the fish shop. Man orders fish and chips.
How She Came Across
Hair should be celebrated though. Hair has come a long way hasn't it? A symbol of fertility and youth and beauty, according to convention. She's got good hair. He's got good hair. It's a bit like nose hair in that it filters out all the dirt. There's a bestial quality about it but you have to ask yourself for a moment what would Rapunzel be without her hair? Then there's Medusa? Oh, Medusa had snakes didn't she. Cousin It? This has taken a stupidly childish turn. The most satisfying moment is squeezing an ingrowing hair, to squeeze and see the puss come out with all the hairs.I have this spot on my back that only Mark will squeeze. He loves it and I love having it out. I had to wear a back top and my mum and sister insisted I have my back waxed. I curse her although i do love having wax on my back. I'm paying you for it so just do it I tell her. Do see more bald babies these days? Did you know that alcoholics don't lose their? Something about alcohol preserves hair. I might have made that up. Eyebrows are great when you think about them because they stop sweat from streaming into your eyes.
Hair growth - Niv
Acceleratred -
Excel Her Hated
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